Why I Feel Angry, Sad and Scared about Crypto, and Mostly Angry

I met another edgeworker man recently who was jacked up about playing in the crypto currency gameworld.

Upon meeting him and hearing about how he thinks it is different from the fiat system, how it builds community, I became somewhat frozen, numb and mentally-oriented. I was torn between wanting to call bullshit, and not wanting to argue. I just don’t buy it.

It’s taken a few days to notice how my mind keeps going back to to this exchange, and to different parts of the story of my life during which I witnessed men in similar modes and had this same deadening, intuitively angry response, without clarity.

I had it watching a partner become consumed with mining bitcoin, he went crazy on me when I asked him questions I had about the deeper distinctions between the cryptocurrency and fiat currency systems. They ultimately looked the same to me.

I had it watching a housemate ride a mental and emotional roller coaster as he participated in a crypto based art creation and auction hub, with hopes that this might finally be how he made it as an artist, only to end up on the sidelines when people coming in, who had more resources at their disposal took over the game.

I had it watching my wasband shut out his children, turn on me, become as if demonically defensive as the breadwinner of our family. He vehemently justifyied his right to buy things we couldn’t afford as reward for his hard work in the capitalist patriarchy gameworld. We all paid such cost when his righteousness became an attack on me for not doing more to financially support the family.

I feel deeply, purely sad about the losses these men and their loved ones endure in the name of their being victim to the identity of Responsible Money-Making Master. I feel sad about how women have been sucked into the game, shifting, as we so magically can, into masculine productivity machines, hardening our softness and often thus becoming desensitized, distant, sick.

I feel sad about children put in care facilities, where well-meaning care providers dote on them, only to have these connections end as soon as the system dictates the job is done.

I feel sad about children turning into zombies on screens that provide, arguably, the best source of connection they can find, and then being punished for it.

I feel hot anger, from deep down about the trickery of the fantasy that crypto is different from the capitalist, hierarchical empire’s game that keeps humans enslaved to productivity for profit while the Earth, children, women go without partnership, parenting, go without initiated men.

This is another layer to the anger about the fantasy of the modern culture, that promises that if a human were to just play the money games right that happiness would be the reward.

I feel scared about all the time passing while so many edgeworker men are distracted into this time-, resource- and attention-sucking crypto fantasy, while there are partners to adventure with, children to be with for exploring, loving and learning, food forests to grow, collapsing systems coming down, low tech systems to create, and massive inner and outer wounds to heal.

Edgeworkers all over the world start over daily the ongoing adventure of Initiation, empowered by person-to-person agreements to share, invest, take interest, according to fundamentally natural systems inherent to how life can happen. The spaces in which this work occurs are informed and enriched by Bright Principles such as Possibility, Winning Happening, Partnership, High Level Fun, Openness, Trustworthiness, Integrity and Radical Responsibility.

These are spaces in which emergence from patriarchy, capitalism, and the limiting, finite games of Modern Culture are possible. In these spaces fantasy and illusion are broken down, clarity is gained, and thoughtware that we didn’t notice we had, which was limiting us, is transformed. These are spaces of Conscious Evolution.

Seeing the tensions, masks, unconscious fears, the walls, the triggers and reactive patterns change is something I always dreamed was possible. To witness it in myself and in others is my wildest dream coming true.

I am not saying, men, stop all your crypto dealings now and let it lay waste. I am saying something entirely new is possible, step by conscious step.

It is said that it is as difficult for a camel to go through the eye of a needle as it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

I have discovered that it is possible to go through the eye of a needle, to exit the patriarchy. Even if you are a man. It is possible to give up the strategizing, numb panic, comparing, competing, pretending, sacrificing, scheming, hiding, swallowing of losses, numbing of pain of abject terror that you will die if you DO NOT AVOID LOSING THE MONEY GAME.

Something completely new is possible.

I, and many other Edgewalkers call it Archearchy.

Nicole is, among other things, a Top Keener on the “Help Gaia’s Risky Human Experiment Succeed” Team.

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