More Culty Stuff

I happened to be staying in St Albert, AB, Canada, where the former gathering place for John deRuiter’s followers is located, during the same week the news of his arrest on charges of sexual offence was released.

A Google search brought up headlines like “Staring Cult Leader Charged with Sex Crimes” — interspersed with listings for his book, The Intelligence of Love. It could be said there is a lot of space between those two realities.

Is there?

I am not here to argue which reality is accurate, nor to point fingers nor to weigh in about the rightness nor wrongness, the goodness nor badness of what John has or has not done, said or not said.

You might wonder what that leaves to talk about.

I am here because I want to document what I think I have discovevered about how it goes with people who bring possibilities about something other than ordianry living, while others follow, or as others lead themselves.

There are many things to lead about or to follow about.

Things.

There are many things to decide in life. Things like: who and when to be whom and what? Or which part of yourself? Things like: whom to listen to? and if and when? and about what? With whom to agree or disagree? Things like: where and when to share time? with whom? and at what level of intimacy? What and how to think and feel? what to say and not say? and to whom?

There isn’t so much talk about how to decide what we think and feel with, nor how to upgade what we think and feel with.

That is what interests me most, here, now.

For the record, I attended 2 or 3 sessions with John at the Oasis Center in 2017. I was invited by dear friends and chose to go. I chose to hand over 10$ per session. I chose to sit for several hours in a huge audience in mostly silence. I was moved. I was drawn to John, to his stature, his intensity, his handsomeness. It was not an ordinary space. I was alivened from being in it.

Some time later I chose to attend a New Year’s party there. It, too, was extraordinary. I experienced the allure of John, the aliveness of the people in his orbit. The consequences of sharing space with all of them was more aliveness. I experienced the magnetism of others who I think were experimenting, consciously or not, with such moves as his.

I also percieved what I would call shadow. Of course! Shadow is everywhere, and despite what religious storybooks say, I do not think it is wrong or bad, just as Light or Brightness is not right or good. Both are what they are, as is, and I have discovered that when I can be with them, as they are, without projecting stories, it can still be possible to choose how I want to go, and create what I want to create.

I am interested in Cults because cultishness is all about Shadow and Light and possibilites for navigating: within, outside or around the human world’s current culture of cults. Beyond the ordinary.

As I discover what it takes for me to hold my own authority, to make conscious choices rather than to become a follower of an unconscious part or an external leader, it’s hard to tell, except from inside me, (but even then), if I am following or leading.

I want to be a Next Culture Leader. Some would say I already am. I want to lead with other leaders creating a culture that makes the modern patriarchal collonialist empire culture obsolete. A Culture where humans are trained to use their own authority, rather than to give it away to survive, and where authentic adults do not want to be given authority over other adults. An extraordinary culture.

As I figure out how to get there, will I be integral every step of the way? Assuredly not, because I have Shadow and Bright parts and they play off each other. Much of what happens inside and outside of me is still invisible to me.

Maybe that I ‘know’ this means I have more of what it takes to be a cult leader who can be trusted!?

We will see. Maybe I lack the stature, intensity, handsomeness it seems to take to draw people toward me. Maybe lacking these things creates the neccessity that I must do the radically responsible relating it takes to actually create such a culture.

In any case, if you want to be part of a cult — a culture where you are trained to have and keep your authority, and to become more abe to take radical responsibility as you creatively collaborate with other humans becoming initiated into authentic adulthood, let me know. Let me know your Bright and Shadow parts.